Stethoscope Solidarity

An incident with my husband and doctors brought to mind the following story and, if you will, lesson. If you are a healthcare professional, this is not meant to undermine you or offend you. If you're a good doctor, in fact, it shouldn't.

My ex-husband and I were trying to have a child (of course, at the time, he wasn't my ex-husband). Anyway, we ran into difficulties and I ended up seeing a lot of my ob/gyn (who I'll refer to as Dr. Og). Dr. Og ran a bunch of tests and finally came up with an answer. He told me, in not so nice of terms, that I was simply too fat to have a child. He also told me that in order for me to conceive, I needed to "get my blood sugars under control."

Now, I can see why some doctors get the God Complex. It's from people like me. Or should I say, people like me at the time. I went home from that doctor visit bawling my eyes out. I couldn't understand why people much heavier than me were able to conceive, but I couldn't because I was too fat. I also immediately scheduled an appointment to see a diabetes specialist (via reference from my ob/gyn).

I still remember sitting in the doctor's office for my diabetes appointment. I remember the confusion. I remember the doctor coming in, my chart in his hands and a very confused look on his face. He looked at me and said, "What can I do for you today?"

I responded (the panic had not yet receeded from my last appointment with Dr. Og), "I'm here to get my blood sugars under control."

The doctor looked back down at my chart, still open in his hands, and said, "I'll be right back." He left the room for a minute or two. When he came back, he said, "I'm sorry. I'm taking a look at your blood tests and I'm not seeing a problem here."

I tell him that Dr. Og had said that I had to get my blood sugars under control. Then the diabetes doctor did something he wasn't supposed to do (according to him, anyway), but I'll never forget. He sat down with me and went through every single lab I had ever had in that facility. He showed me, without a shadow of a doubt, that I did not, in fact, have to "get my blood sugars under control." The highest score I had in an entire 5 year timeframe was 119. Once. 119 once, and I have to get my blood sugars under control.

I sat there confused, dumbfounded. Was this doctor telling me Dr. Og was WRONG?!? The doctor then excused himself again, muttering to himself and staring at my chart the whole time. He went to find Dr. Og. When he returned, I finally saw how strong stethoscope solidarity could be.

Standing before me was a doctor who had not only told me, but SHOWN me that a) I was wasting my money by seeing him and b) Dr. Og didn't know the first thing about reading blood sugar levels. And he told me, "I think [Dr. Og] was thinking about something else." and proceeded to show me what needed to be done to control blood sugars through exercise and diet. Dr. Og was WRONG. He knew it and I knew it. But he couldn't admit it. And when he said those words, "I think [Dr. Og] was thinking about something else.", I could see him almost physically forcing those words from his mouth.

Needless to say, that appointment changed me. I realized that you couldn't rely on your doctor to give you all of the information you need. I realized that you had to take your own healthcare into your own hands. I realized that sometimes, doctors need to be questioned. I realized that a fancy diploma doesn't always mean you know better. And I also realized that even if a doctor knows another doctor was dead wrong, he STILL won't actually admit it.

Bottom line, I switched my ob/gyn. I told everyone I knew what had happened and warned other women against my former doctor. I read up on my symptoms and found out that I was right, according to actual blood tests. I began to trust myself, my intuitions, my body, before simply blindly accepting what a doctor says. I began to realize that doctors were NOT God, that they were human, and could make mistakes just like any other human.

It still irks me to this day, though, that that diabetes doctor, even with all the evidence in front of him, could NOT say, "Your doctor was wrong." No, he could only make excuses for him.

Do NOT get me wrong. I am not saying that no doctor out there knows what he (or she) is talking about. In fact, I believe a majority of them are very good. What I'm saying is do not be afraid to question your physician in the interest of better healthcare. If the physician is a good one, they won't mind. After all, it IS your body.