Wooooooooooooooooooooow

It's been almost a full 8 years since my last post. In that time, so much has happened! Let's see: 1. First and foremost, I'm a Gamma now! And not just one grandbaby, I have SIX. The oldest are Julie's Jackson at 6 years old, Kat's Aaron at 6 years old, then Julie's Michael at 3, Brooklyn at 2, Alex's Acacia at 2 and finally Alex's Eila at 7 1/2 months. I love them so much and wish that I was able to see them more, but it's hard with schedules and the distance between here and where they live. Jackson and Aaron were born only two months apart, but the difference in their size when Aaron was born was striking. It looked like Jackson (the older of the two) was twice the age/size of Aaron. But it was just that Jackson was a bit large and Aaron was a bit tiny. But both are wonderful. Now that they're six, the size difference isn't AS striking. Actually, all of Julie's children are large for their age. And I don't mean chubby babies. I mean like someone hit 150% on the copier by accident. I mean, for Christmas this past year, Michael (3) was in 5T clothes and Brooklyn (not yet 2) was in 3T. I call Brooklyn "my baby" because when I firwt met her, I didn't want to let her go. She was the first girl born amongst the grandbabies and I fell in love. I tried to keep her, but I was forced to let her go home with her parents. So every time I see her now, I walk in and say "Give me my baby!". Jackson and Michael have been diagnosed with Autism, but they are in therapy and I'm told they're doing well (again, see the "I don't see them often enough" comment). Alex had her two girls in fairly quick succession. I believe there's less than an year between the two. And while we would prefer Alex find a better mate, I have to say that Raul is a good father to his girls. The two of them (Alex and Raul), despite the hurdles they've faced, are still going strong. So I guess I have to give that to them. Alex is a doting mother, and those girls are SUPER cute. They video chat with Smiley usually about once a week. I usually hear him making popping noises and gurgles while I'm working on a Friday, and I know that means he's face to face with a grandbaby. Smiley loves being a grandpa. I love being a grandma. Life's pretty good that way. 2. We lost Loki and then Shoe. It's been 2-3 years now since they're gone and it still hurts. Loki passed during a routine dental cleaning (THAT sucked), and Shoe got cancer and was gone within weeks of his diagnosis.

3. We acquired and lost Sassy, an American Eskimo rescue. She was wonderful. She too was lost due to cancer. That makes three furbabies lost to cancer. No more, please.

4. We acquired Lucy (short for Lucyfur), who was a rescue from Illinois. She was brought up for me by our friend Keri for a trial weekend. This was a few months after we lost Shoe. She is a beautiful calico baby. I fell in love with her at first sight. Keri described her as very anti-social, hates humans (hisses at them), generally ok with other animals, but loved Keri. Initially she was very skiddish, and wasn't my biggest fan. Then Smiley came home. Next thing I know he's coming around the corner from the front all with her in his arms all lovey dovey. She didn't really warm up to me that weekend, so at the end of the weekend when Keri was packing up to go home, she asked if she was packing up Lucy too (she had a different name at that time - Willow or some shit). I looked at her loving on my husband and just couldn't take that away from him. And that, my friends, is how my husband acquired a cat.

5. We were graced with Puddin. So Smiley's bff lives Up Nort, where even the cities are in the country. And I come home from work one day and Smiley asks me, "How would you like a kitten?" At that point, I wasn't sure anymore. I was still hurting from Shoe and Loki (this wasn't long after we got Lucy), and Lucy still wasn't warming up to me. I was wondering if I should even bother. Plus kittens get into so much stuff... "It's part bobcat." he says. SOLD. So I eagerly awaited the birth of our new kitten (we got first pick of the litter). Then they were born and I bugged Smiley every weekend to go up north. It took us a couple of months, so I had to pick a kitten (to be set aside) from pictures. Most of the kittens were black. There was one grey and white one, one calico and one light calico. Now, apparently not everyone's heard of a light calico, so let me explain for those confused. A calico is a cat (usually female) that is black, brown and white. A light calico is a cat (also usually female) that is gray, tan and white. I point this out specifically because guess which one was love at first sight? Yup, the light calico. I tell Smiley's bff and his wife this. They set aside a kitten and start to give it extra loves because they know I want a snuggler. Guess which one they set aside? You guessed it, the regular calico. Eventually when pictures of the wrong kitten start arriving on a regular basis, I point out the error. No, LIGHT calico. The gray, tan and white one. OH! So better late than never, light calico kitten starts getting extra snuggles. So longer-than-I-wanted later, when we show up to finally pick up my new baby, there's TWO super snuggly babies. And they're freakking adorable. I start to second guess my decision, but the pull was still there toward the light calico. I felt like this may be my new familiar. Smiley says, "We are NOT bringing home TWO kittens." But what if.... I say, I agree, I don't want two kittens. But maybe we know someone who's looking for a kitten? At this point, Strings pops to mind. We quickly send pictures to Strings of the kittens. He agrees, he likes the calico, but his current apartment doesn't allow pets. But he's moving in a few months, so... Smiley's bff says either we take both now or we take one now, but he's not holding onto a kitten for a few months. Somehow I manage to puppydog eye my way into convincing Smiley that we should take both kittens home, and the calico (the darker one) will go live with Strings when he gets his new place. Enter Lillith and Puddin. Bringing home two kittens actually made the transition easier for the kittens since they had a sibling to take comfort with. Lucy, who had been warming up to me at this point, realized I had the AUDACITY to bring KITTENS into her home and quickly wrote me off. A few short months later, Strings bought a house and Lillith (aka Lilly aka Demon Child) went to live with her daddy. Puddin, on the other hand, the light calico, was the cutest kitten I've ever seen. I'm not kidding.

My mother stopped by one day and I brought Puddin out to meet Grandma. My mother took one look at her and burst into tears, exclaiming, "Oh my goodness! She's the cutest kitten I've ever seen!" And my mother is not a cat-person. I also heard her whisper to the kitten, "You have no idea how lucky you are. You are going to have the most wonderful home."

6. Logan came to live with us for his high school years. I was shocked that his mom let him go, but I guess it was better than watching her son kill her husband. Just another example of her choosing her husband over her children. But I digress. This is about Logan, not her. It was wonderful having the Boy with us. And then the house we were living in (renting) was put on the market. Smiley and I made the choice to take that opportunity to move back to my hometown. Smiley had gotten a job there and had been commuting an hour to work and based on where we were, my commute would be about an hour, regardless of whether we stayed where we were or went back to my hometown. Unfortunately, that meant uprooting the Boy for his senior year. He had turned 18 within days of the end of his Junior year, and he made the decision to stay. It was an upsetting time, having the Boy move out very suddenly and unexpectedly, as we had planned for him to move with us. He claimed to be living with his best friend and his best friend's family (this was the arrangement we were told), but before long, it was apparent that he was ACTUALLY living with his girlfriend and her family. (*sigh*) He also made the decision to enlist into the army. So within three weeks of graduation from high school, we had to say goodbye to the Boy as we sent him off to boot camp. I cried for a week. He made it through boot camp ok and is now stationed at Fort Knox in Kentucky. And he asked his girl to marry him. We were so happy. She's a great gal and we get along great with her family. They're currently planning a wedding for August of this year. 7. We "acquired" a Jacky. What's a Jacky? She's a 20-something woman whose family was JUST AWFUL to her. Very toxic. Since Logan had no use for his room, we asked Jacky to come stay with us. By separating herself from the environment of her family, she has managed to set boundaries and somewhat heal. She's also found a bit of her voice and is starting to realize that it's ok to do what's in her best interests instead of the whims of narcissistic family members who treat her like a workhorse. She's also had some gender-identity issues and, at least in my eyes, she has been able to embrace that part of herself more knowing she won't be constantly judged, put down, etc. in this house. It's been nice to watch her grow into herself. 8. One word: Covid. We've lost people. The pandemic has changed people and their environments. I now work from home. I love working from home. It's the only good part of Covid. The bank was forced to test their technological limits and found that their systems held up. Next month it will be two years that I've been working from home. I rarely wear jeans or dress pants anymore. I'm not alone in that. 9. I started a business. Not just any business, a Pure Romance business (Pure Romance by Ray J - https://bit.ly/PureRomancebyRayJ ). Yes, that's right, I've achieved the ultimate goal of being the "Dildo Lady". It's so much more than that. The company is ever-evolving and has gotten much more well-rounded in their product selection. They stress education and are now working toward certifications for their independant consultants (now called Partners). I've built my business up. I have a team under me. I am a leader. I am in the Future Leaders program, scheduled for April graduation. I'm hoping one day to make this my only job. I have a ways to go, but I have ideas to get me there. It's hard work, but very rewarding. Plus it satisfies my desire to learn. There's always something more for me to learn in this business. PR even has partnered with Indiana University for a Sexual Health Professional Training Program. Of course I signed up. Thank goodness it's self-paced, because shortly after I signed up, I was accepted into Future Leaders and that has taken up a lot of my time. I just recently completed a 21-day cleanse (a program from PR) where I learned that not all fish suck and I like spaghetti squash (among other things). Also, I feel better with cleaner eating. I may actually start eating better now. Welp. I think that's the highlights. I'm sure I'm missing SO MUCH that happened in the last eight years. That's ok. Maybe I'll post again sooner than eight years from now. LOL

Focus

The old saying goes, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Frankly, it's why there tends to be such long pauses between my posts. Let me explain...

My original intention with this blog was to share some of my more unusual life experiences (of which there tend to be more than my fair share). But I'm the kind of person who feels positive begets positive, as well as negative begets negative. I also feel there is enough drama in the world (and on the Internet) without me posting more. This makes sharing pieces of my life difficult at times, especially when not all is positive.

The fact of the matter is, is that bad things happen to good people (well, bad things happen to bad people too, but that's beside the point). It is precisely how you choose to focus on the event that makes all the difference. Perspective is a difficult lesson, but an important one. My father taught me that.

So when I write these entries, I will occasionally touch base on certain major events in my life. But I also do occasionally read back through this blog. And when I do, I personally don't want to read a blog that's nothing but a bunch of whiney, bitching and complaining, even if it's justified. I'd much rather giggle at the insanity that is my life.

Because I don't know about you, but sometimes I need to remember that life... Well.... That's some funny shit.

2013 In Review

Happy New Year everyone! I hate to say it, but I'm glad 2013 is over. Ugh.... What a year. Some good things happened. Some bad things happened. Some more bad things happened. And some not-so-bad things happened. Let's review...

2013 started out well enough with me fresh into a new position with my old job, learning the ropes at a new location. Dan and I decided to move in February so I could be closer to work. For the first time in several years, I was within a 15 minute commute to work. It was wonderful.

In April, Harley was diagnosed with cancer. It was like getting sucker-punched in the stomach.

In June, just as we were preparing for the one-year anniversary of the passing of my brother-in-law, our good friend, Rev, passed suddenly and unexpectedly in a tragic accident. This was just two weeks after attending the funeral of the "old lady" of another one of our good friends, Neale, after she passed from cancer. Dan and I decide that, other than a few select days, June no longer exists in our world. The day after our friend Rev passed, I started having a migraine that I still have to this day. (Fortunately, the migraine is controlled mostly by medication.)

July 9th came, and on the one-year anniversary of the passing of my Ebony, my Harley left this realm and passed to the next. I was comforted to know that he died by my side during the night.

In August, things began to pick up with Dan finally being able to go back to school. Unfortunately, also in August, I was given notice that my position, along with many others, was being eliminated.

My position being eliminated ended up being a blessing in disguise, however, as it afforded me the opportunity to find the position I'm currently in now, where I am quite happy. Not only is my current job even closer to home, but the hours are better and there was even a pay increase.

In the long run, despite desperately missing the people I lost through the year, I ended up the year better than I began it. And for that, I am thankful. I mean, would I give up something good to have one of the bad things not happen? If it meant Harley never died, maybe. But then, change is inevitable. The fact of the matter is, if Harley hadn't died in July, it would have been some time. And I never would have been ok with it. Ever.

So knowing now what I do, would I go back and change a single moment? Never. You may wonder why I'd say that, but the fact of the matter is, when the day is done, I've got a pretty good life. And every day, every moment of my life up until this very moment right now is what has gotten me the life I have right now. That doesn't mean just the good stuff. It means the bad stuff too. So no. I wouldn't change it. Because it's who I am. And that's pretty damn good if you ask me.

Have a great 2014, everyone. Happy New Year!

My College Boy

Hubby has returned to school. As an academic geek, I am totally stoked on this. I get to help him with his homework. And I already refer to him as my "boy toy", so calling him my "college boy toy" was just the next logical step.

And I must say, he's taken to it rather well. From what I've been told, he wasn't one that was much for school when he was in high school (how many teenagers are?), but he diligently goes to class, and does his homework without me having to prompt him (most of the time). He asks questions and seems genuinely excited when he comes home from school and tells me about his day.

Frankly, it's making me a little jealous. I think if we didn't need to have someone employed, that I might sign up to go back to school too. Sadly, this is not a possibility. I'll just have to live vicariously through him at the moment.

What would I go back to school for, you might ask? Believe it or not, I have considered being a therapist. But, you know those people who work at their favorite retail store until they realize that they're only working to pay for the things they are buying at the store? Yeah, that would be me as a therapist. Besides, if people aren't paying me, I can tell them they're an idiot without the threat of a lawsuit.

So for now, I'll sit back and enjoy helping my hubby with his homework. His professors should be happy he has me to help him, or they would get some very inappropriate papers... Hubby has little to no filters.

On that note, for your pure amusement, I present to you, Danisms:

Dan: Ooo! A Shelby Cobra!
Me (driving): Where?
Dan: In a parking lot back there.
Me: Silly me, I'm focusing on cars on the road, not cars in parking lots.
Dan: I know. That's why I said "Ooo!" for you.
Me: So you said "Ooo!" in lieu of me?
Dan: Yes, I in lieu "Ooo!"d.

Me: What's my favorite color?
Dan: Deer.

Me: What are we going to do today, Pinky?
Dan: Fill chickens with helium and use them as balloons.
Me: I told you last week, NO!
Dan: Oh, come on. We can just tell people they're animatronic.

Me: Why must you insist on pooping in the bathroom?!?
Dan: Because if I poop anywhere else in the house, you yell at me.

Me: Bring me an ice cream sandwich.
Dan: White or whole wheat?
Me: What?!
Dan: Bread, vanilla ice cream, lettuce, tomato... You know, ice cream sandwich!

Dan and I were watching Redneck Island and one of the contestants kept changing his answer to the question "Are you married?" I looked at Dan and said, "You'd never do that, right?" He said, "Hell no! I'd tell all of them that I'm married. Very married. Very happily married. And that my wife will hunt me down and kill me if I ever even hint otherwise."

Me (talking to myself): Hmmmm. I'll have to check that out.
Dan: What's that?
Me: A billboard we passed... For a place that sells corsets and lingerie.
Dan: Yeah?
Me: They have Romance Classes.
Dan: Oh, you don't need to check into that.
Me: Why not?
Dan: I think you're perfectly romantic enough.
Me: (blank stare) Yeah.... Cuz I was gonna call for ME.

Dan: I have a wife, that's much better than a girlfriend.
Me: Why is that better than a girlfriend?
Dan: Because if I had a girlfriend, you'd kill her. And me. If I just have a wife, I get to live.

Dan: Maybe this weekend you and the girls can go do something together. Something girly. Like shooting flowers or something.

Well, that's all folks.... Until next time!

Changing my "About Me"

It is with deep sorrow that I must announce that in the wee hours of Tuesday, July 9th, 2013, my little dragon grew wings. He fought valiantly, and even surprised me with how long he survived in the end. When he passed, he hadn't eaten in a full week and hadn't drank any water in three days. My only solace is the knowledge that he is no longer in pain. I know he was loved and not alone when he went. I miss him with every breath. I keep thinking I hear him meow.

That being said, I realized, like all the dumb things you think about in the days following a loved one's passing, that I will now need to update my 'About Me' to show that I live with my TWO cats rather than three. I refuse. He may no longer be with me physically, but he's still in my heart.

My mother cried when I told her. My mother. Cried. And told me that she hopes when she gets old and is dying, that I take care of her just as well as I did with Harley. I told her I promised I would.

My other two? They're.... adjusting. Loki mopes around, but if he sees me getting sad, he does something adorable to make me smile. Shoe has been a tad skittish. He doesn't adjust well to change. And he knows Momma is sad.

Overall, I must say I am quite lucky. I have plenty of support from my family and friends. My step-daughter, when we called to tell the children, just said, "I wish I was there to hug you." She's such a good kid. Fortunately, they all had a chance to say goodbye to Harley just days before he passed. I'm sure it will be hard the next time they are up, but we'll get through it together.

Some people might say, "He's just a cat." Right before I punched them in the throat, mind you... But the thing is, he wasn't just a cat. He was someone who has been by my side constantly for the last 16 years. He was my friend. My confidant. The one who loved me when I was unlovable. The one who kept me alive when I didn't want to be. The one who comforted me when I was sad. The one who always reminded me that life goes on, even when his was ending. I loved that grumpy, crotchety old bastard. And my life has been forever changed because he was in it.

Rest in Peace, Harley.

It's Pre-July

That's right, folks. June no longer exists in my world. Well, ok, June 6th. Maybe June 18th. But that's it. Earlier this month, a good friend of my husband and I passed away very unexpectedly. Like, I-still-can't-believe-he's-not-here unexpectedly. Couple this with the passing of another of our good friends three years ago, followed by the passing of my father three days after, followed by my brother-in-law passing two years to the date of my father... Well... You may be able to see why I might be a tad jumpy when the phone rings these days.

The good news is, I still have my little dragon. That's right. Harley is still kicking it, much to the surprise of my vet. When I called for refills on his prescriptions she said, "Frankly, I'm a bit surprised you're still calling me about him. He must be a real fighter." Oh honey, you have NO idea.

People always ask, "Is he still eating? You'll know he's near the end when he stops eating." And the answer is yes. He is eating me out of house and home. Why, you may ask? Because he now mostly only eats premium food. Oh, I still give him the usual stuff. And he'll eat that too, but the second I say the "v" word, he forgets there's anything else...

The "v" word, you may ask? My friend Jen was up visiting, shortly after Harley's diagnosis. We had to run out to pick up more cat food and I said I was thinking of buying him a treat, just to spoil him a little. (Cuz that never happens....) Jen says, "You can buy him venison..." You've never seen a sixteen-year-old-cat-with-cancer's head snap around so fast. His ears perked up and his eyes got big. (I'm talking Disney big.) It was decided.

Now, for those of you who know me, you know that my totem animal is the deer. As such, I cannot stand venison. Yes, I've actually tried venison. Venison steak, venison jerky, venison sausage... yuck, yuck, YUCK. I can't even stand the smell of venison. So the fact that my cat wanted to eat venison was already a tad disconcerting.

Flash forward to the pet supply store. We pick up the usual cat food (special food for my Shoe, nummy food for my Loki, and nutritious food for my Harley). I then proceed to walk up and down the aisles looking for venison. At first, I must admit I wasn't looking that hard. But then, realizing I had promised Harley I would pick some up for him, it became a mission. After what seemed like forever, I finally found ONE company (one!) that had venison in gravy. In a teeeeeeeny tiiiiiny can. For almost a dollar each. Each can. Each teeny freakin' can. But... a promise is a promise, so I picked one up for him.

I admit, I had hoped he wouldn't like it. I had hoped he would think it was disgusting like I do. I swear, I puke a little in my mouth when I open the can. The smell... Urgh... the smell... Anyway, I give him the can. He devours it in no time flat and then looks at me as if to say, "That can was tiny. You bought more than one, right? RIGHT?" *sigh*

So now, I get woken up every morning, usually 1/2 hour BEFORE my alarm goes off, by Harley standing on my head and screaming. He does this until I get up and give him venison. I've tried everything. I've tried to ignore him. Somehow, I can manage to block out the deafening yell in my ear, but can't get past when he tickles my nose with his whiskers. (Never let him fool you into thinking he ain't smart.) I've tried getting up and giving him regular food. He eats a bit of that and then goes back to standing on my head and doing his impression of an ambulance. The only thing I've found that even attempts to work is to kick all of the cats out of the bedroom and shut the door. This, of course, prevents him from standing on my head, but only makes the screaming louder. And I hadn't thought it could GET louder.... The instant that I put him in the hall and shut the door, he turns and yells louder and louder until I let him back in. Should the screaming not work, it escalates to pounding on the door.

On those rare occasions where he gives up before I give in, he does so only long enough to throw up EV-ERY-WHERE. Once the whole house is covered in cat vomit, he then goes back to screaming and pounding on the door. He's persistent, I'll give him that...

Well, I'd keep writing, but I guess it's time for more venison. There's a cat on my head. Screaming. Loudly. Subtle, he ain't....

Which D & D Character Are You?

I Am A: Lawful Neutral Human Druid (6th Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-11

Dexterity-11

Constitution-13

Intelligence-19

Wisdom-15

Charisma-15


Alignment:
Lawful Neutral A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs him. Order and organization are paramount to him. He may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or he may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot. However, lawful neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it seeks to eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Class:
Druids gain power not by ruling nature but by being at one with it. They hate the unnatural, including aberrations or undead, and destroy them where possible. Druids receive divine spells from nature, not the gods, and can gain an array of powers as they gain experience, including the ability to take the shapes of animals. The weapons and armor of a druid are restricted by their traditional oaths, not simply training. A druid's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that they can cast.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)