Valentine's Day Thoughts

With V-Day coming up soon, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to me and V-Days of yesteryear. I figured I'd write up a blog entertaining these thoughts and with some helpful hints for those who are just STUCK in the 'what the hell do I get him/her' phase...

First off, I'll tell you about some of the worst times. One ex got me car parts for Valentine's Day. Or so he said. Quite a few ex's have plain and simple forgot. (Hey guys - at least saying "Happy Valentine's Day" is nice and doesn't cost you a thing!) And I'm pretty sure I've been dumped on at least one V-Day.

Now, for the best of times... #3 on the list would be ex-hubby #2. For our first V-Day together, he made me a homemade pizza in the shape of a heart and spelled out "I love you" in pepperoni. Table was set with candles and flowers and all that jazz. Sweet, eh? #2 on the list would be ex-hubby #1. For OUR first V-Day together, he went to my parents house (I was living with the 'rents at the time) and woke up my third-shift father (he wasn't very happy about that, but oh well) to get into my bedroom where he covered my bed in rose petals, flowers, teddy bears and chocolates. He then showed up at my place of employment (I was working that morning) and got down on one knee in the parking lot to ask me if I'd promise to marry him (promise ring in hand, of course). I didn't know about all the bedroom stuff until I got home. I about lost it that day... And for the #1 all time favorite V-Day....

Ex-fiance was in the Army, stationed in Alaska. I had been crying to him all week about the fact that I finally had someone for V-Day, but would be unable to celebrate it with him. Sure enough, on V-Day, I received a package from him with his letterman's jacket. Later that day, I received a bouquet of roses. Later that evening, when I called him to thank him for everything (and to let him know it all arrived safe and sound), I mentioned the roses. I told him, "Uh... I don't want to seem ungrateful or petty or anything, but I happened to have counted the roses. There were 11. Were there supposed to be 12?" I could practically hear him smiling on the other end of the line. "No," he said, "The 12th rose is you." *sigh* That story still makes me flutter.

Now, for those of you who are still pondering what to get your significant other for V-Day, I have a few words of advice. As a caveat, I must mention that there are, I'm sure, quite a few people out there who go for the 'traditional' gifts and just get their women diamonds, a lobster dinner, three dozen roses, a fur coat, etc., etc., etc. If my boyfriend did that I'd smack him upside the head. I don't like any of those things. But we'll call those women who like those things Category A women. For the remainder of this blog, I'll be referring to Category X women - people more like me.

It's the thought that counts. I maintain that it is TOTALLY the thought that counts. This means that gift cards are unacceptable, as they require no thought whatsoever. Now, of course, if you say, "Here, honey, I got you a gift card so we can go shopping together this weekend." well, I guess I can let that slide. However, in the same respect, I'd much rather receive a hand-made card, poorly drawn with bad poetry that properly expresses my man's feelings than some Hallmark card that he paid $5 for and spent about a minute looking for. Especially if said Hallmark card says, "Happy Birthday Grandma!" (Yes, I've seen it happen.) Bottom line, put some thought into it, people.

It doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg. Contrary to popular belief, more expensive DOES NOT equal better. Sure, if you've got the money to blow and you know she's gonna like the Rolex watch, get it. But hey, instead of the dozen roses, how about finding out what kind of flower she actually LIKES and getting her a few of those? Or give her a home-grown spa day where you pamper her - running a bath for her, giving her a massage, etc. Good ol' 'Queen for the Day' shit. Works for me.

Sex isn't always the answer. Unless you only give it up only once or twice a year, offering sex isn't really special, now is it? Granted, play your cards right and that could be a benefit....

Make a sacrifice. Is there a program that she likes to watch that is on at the same time as one of your favorite programs that you HAVE to watch every week? Sit down with her, snuggle up, a grit your teeth through her girly program for once. Do you hate going dancing? Take her out for a night on the town. And don't complain about it. The bigger the sacrifice and the less you bitch about it, the more she'll appreciate it. Believe me, she probably knows how much you hate that crap in the first place, and she'll realize you are doing this for HER.

Tell her how you feel. Whether it's in a card, in person, over the phone, in an e-mail or text, tell her how much she means to you. You should be doing this all the time anyway, but on V-Day, this is important. Don't let this V-Day go by and have her still wondering if you still care about her. (P.S. NEVER forget to at least say "Happy Valentine's Day.")

Bottom line, think about the things SHE would like - not just to receive, but also to hear, to do, to feel, to see - and then act on that. And girls, most guys like the same thing.

That's all for now. I'll write more later.