My College Boy

Hubby has returned to school. As an academic geek, I am totally stoked on this. I get to help him with his homework. And I already refer to him as my "boy toy", so calling him my "college boy toy" was just the next logical step.

And I must say, he's taken to it rather well. From what I've been told, he wasn't one that was much for school when he was in high school (how many teenagers are?), but he diligently goes to class, and does his homework without me having to prompt him (most of the time). He asks questions and seems genuinely excited when he comes home from school and tells me about his day.

Frankly, it's making me a little jealous. I think if we didn't need to have someone employed, that I might sign up to go back to school too. Sadly, this is not a possibility. I'll just have to live vicariously through him at the moment.

What would I go back to school for, you might ask? Believe it or not, I have considered being a therapist. But, you know those people who work at their favorite retail store until they realize that they're only working to pay for the things they are buying at the store? Yeah, that would be me as a therapist. Besides, if people aren't paying me, I can tell them they're an idiot without the threat of a lawsuit.

So for now, I'll sit back and enjoy helping my hubby with his homework. His professors should be happy he has me to help him, or they would get some very inappropriate papers... Hubby has little to no filters.

On that note, for your pure amusement, I present to you, Danisms:

Dan: Ooo! A Shelby Cobra!
Me (driving): Where?
Dan: In a parking lot back there.
Me: Silly me, I'm focusing on cars on the road, not cars in parking lots.
Dan: I know. That's why I said "Ooo!" for you.
Me: So you said "Ooo!" in lieu of me?
Dan: Yes, I in lieu "Ooo!"d.

Me: What's my favorite color?
Dan: Deer.

Me: What are we going to do today, Pinky?
Dan: Fill chickens with helium and use them as balloons.
Me: I told you last week, NO!
Dan: Oh, come on. We can just tell people they're animatronic.

Me: Why must you insist on pooping in the bathroom?!?
Dan: Because if I poop anywhere else in the house, you yell at me.

Me: Bring me an ice cream sandwich.
Dan: White or whole wheat?
Me: What?!
Dan: Bread, vanilla ice cream, lettuce, tomato... You know, ice cream sandwich!

Dan and I were watching Redneck Island and one of the contestants kept changing his answer to the question "Are you married?" I looked at Dan and said, "You'd never do that, right?" He said, "Hell no! I'd tell all of them that I'm married. Very married. Very happily married. And that my wife will hunt me down and kill me if I ever even hint otherwise."

Me (talking to myself): Hmmmm. I'll have to check that out.
Dan: What's that?
Me: A billboard we passed... For a place that sells corsets and lingerie.
Dan: Yeah?
Me: They have Romance Classes.
Dan: Oh, you don't need to check into that.
Me: Why not?
Dan: I think you're perfectly romantic enough.
Me: (blank stare) Yeah.... Cuz I was gonna call for ME.

Dan: I have a wife, that's much better than a girlfriend.
Me: Why is that better than a girlfriend?
Dan: Because if I had a girlfriend, you'd kill her. And me. If I just have a wife, I get to live.

Dan: Maybe this weekend you and the girls can go do something together. Something girly. Like shooting flowers or something.

Well, that's all folks.... Until next time!